Most Twilight readers admit to their dorkitude. And the first step to healing is admitting something. (BTW, if you're a grown up who actually reads books for adults, the following paragraphs are not for you.)
Here's my opinion(s).
The main characters? I think Bella's a drama-queen whiner with extraordinarily poor decision-making skills.
I can't keep up with Edward talking like a sophisticated 18th century kind of guy one minute then a skater dude the next.
Bella and Edward together make me think of that annoying kissy-smooch sound that movies like to blast acapella for five minutes. (To me this noise is akin to nails on a chalkboard to some people.)
And WHY, HOW do you have this much lovey-ness for someone when you're 18 unless your future involves a double-wide.
Jacob. Jacob. What else can I say? He's smart. He's nice. And I root for him in every paragraph.
And I like Alice because she sounds like someone with cool hair.
And I just redeemed my American Express Rewards Points for a Barnes and Noble giftcard so I can buy the last book.