Thursday, November 20, 2008

Prescription refill over the phone

(Perky voice)
"Hello and welllcome to CVS Pharmacy. Please say 'refill' for refill, 'physician' if you're a physician and 'new prescription' if you have a new prescription."


"OK. Please enter or say your refill number."


"I'm sorry. I didn't understand. Did you say, '123456'?"


"Right on. As you can tell, we're trying the lame marketing ploy of trying to sound conversational. Say 'yes' if this works for you and 'no' if you wish you could speak to a real person."

"No. I'm just trying to refill my prescription and I'm tired from something as lame as a machine at the gym that makes me spin my feet and go nowhere. I'm ready to go to bed."

"I'm sorry. I didn't understand a word you just said. You see, I'm not a real person. I'm just a computerized voice. Did you say 'refill'? Say 'yes' if you want to go through this whole speech again and again and, well, there's nothing else you can say so tough luck."


"Hello and welllcome to CVS pharmacy. Do you really need your seizure medicine this badly? You realize that we're going to send you generics even if your doctor wrote 'brand only' only your prescription. Say 'yes' if you want to risk it and 'no' if you didn't plan ahead and have to pay $50 for our expedited service."


"OK. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"I'd like a hooker."

"Are you dominant or submissive."

"I'm a fetishist."

"I'm sorry. I didn't understand what you said. Goodbye."

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